Friday, April 07, 2006

VIP Cinema

Now this is how an evening at the cinema should be! Taipei's Cinemark theatre at the Core Pacific Living Mall is a dream come true for film connoisseurs like myself. No longer do you have to rub shoulders with the unwashed masses parading out to the theater in droves to see tripe like Ice Age 2. Never again will you be pulled violently from your morbid ponderings by their raucous laughter. Now you can sit in silent reverie while contemplating the post-modern significance of vampire-on-werewolf action in Underworld: Evolution. Finally you can admire without distraction the exquisite costume design, from blood-matted fur to Kate Beckinsale's skin tight, zippery leather jumpsuit.

To see for yourself, simply go to the ticket window and buy a movie ticket for one of the VIP movies. If the movie you want to see isn't being offered on one of the two VIP screens, then you just aren't avant garde enough. Proceed to the normal theaters with the rest of the riffraf. Once you have your VIP ticket, take a trip over to the balcony where you can sneer down at the simpletons as they buy popcorn on the other side for their pedestrian movie-going experience. Feel free to head over to the VIP entrance 20 minutes or so before the movie start time. You can have a seat at the bar while eating your free popcorn and watching previews on high-def televisions. When the young lady behind the bar informs you that it is time, you can enter the theater. You will know for sure that you have made the right decision when you see the faux leather seating with classy wood veneered armrests. Also, before the movie begins, be sure to take a moment to reflect on the achievements of your civilization, focusing primarily on the fact that there is a 10 story, deathstar-like 'Core' suspended in the mall above you. And finally, use your new-found sense of superiority to derive even greater enjoyment than you thought possible from your $10 movie ticket.


All kidding aside, I actually thought Underworld was a pretty good movie. And for the record, I had no choice about the VIP. If I wanted to see Underworld, then it was going to be as a VIP.


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4 Comments:

At 9:59 PM, Anonymous Todd said...

Oh that is high quality! Especially the zipperyness. You were doing so well with arrogance too, until you undercut yourself at the very end.

 
At 11:16 PM, Blogger Jon said...

The main reason I added that comment at the end was because I didn't want people to get the impression that I was making fun of Underworld: Evolution. I just couldn't do that to Kate.

 
At 5:14 AM, Blogger tma said...

wow so you got to enjoy the "intimate" scene in the privacy of VIP viewing?? hahaha.

 
At 3:34 AM, Anonymous Paige said...

It seems that you're more of a "privacy" person. But if you can bare the crowd, go to Ambassador Cinema for an action movie! They've got digital projection and EXCELLENT sound effect. I mean the Ambassador Cinema in Shimending (a MRT station on Ban Nan Line), not the one near ChungXiao FuXing station. You can find no cinema like that in the US. And don't plan on Sat and Sun to go, unless you want to spend 1 hour to get a blockbuster ticket.
BTW, don't count on my Pin In spelling. I'm only guessing.

 

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